Essay

I have been enchanted by images since childhood, fairy tale illustrations called to me. They enchanted my inner world with confidence there was more to hope for.

In my teens, at a very difficult moment, it was the existence of Beauty itself and my ability to behold it that rescued me.

In books, psychic images, and psychological themes, I found help to begin my path.

I studied art in my early 20s, spent a few years trying commercial art, and driving a delivery truck. Then, at 28, I changed to sciences at university, and for 8 years, I worked to become a physician. I practiced this profession for the next 23 years, doing little art. I continued with therapy, though.

Now I am widowed. I live with my animals and friends in rural British Columbia. I do not consider myself an intellectual and don’t have patience for heavy reading.

Image and beauty draw me in.  They are a way for disparate parts of myself to find connection, where conscious rational thought and words fail, in a way I have difficulty explaining.

I might begin with an intense emotion I can’t understand or barely tolerate or with physical discomfort. I might approach a paper trustingly and let what is in me flow onto the paper. I am often surprised as different parts of me join the experience. What began with pain turns into a new celebration of something unexpected. I don’t control the outcomes.

I love depicting animals, people, and nature. Also … the transitoriness of my mediums and informality of the results seem essential.

My time as a commercial artist and attempts at formal fine arts pursuits have shown that I am just not about traditional success.

I love the depth of psychology and art therapy-oriented groups and courses such as those offered by SoulatPlay. Although I am not well-read, I find that like-hearted souls inevitably show up, and we connect naturally.

We have learned things from other cultures, such as the medicine circle that takes us through awareness, evaluation, letting go, and acceptance. We have also learned about mandalas, active imagination meditations, such as those with the subterranean guardians. We have discovered treasure, and the wisdom of archetypes, totems, and animals.

What lies ahead is a mystery. What is here now can be terrifying and can be faced with an open and loving heart.